Timeline of Life
by Cielle's Amour
Summary: "I'm the only one who has real emotions, a soul. I thought the world would continue to exist as long as I exist. That once I die, there will be no more world." Jin x Hamuko/FeMC WARNING: Consists of situations of rape


Timeline of Life

Cielle's Amour

Persona 3 Portable

Jin x Hamuko/FeMC

Warning: Consists of situations of rape

* * *

_Did you know Schrodinger devised a paradox where he placed a cat, a flask of poison, and a radioactive trigger together inside a closed box to test a quantum mechanics theory proposed by Einstein? The whole purpose was to view the activation of a subatomic particle which would trigger the cat's death. Would you like to guess whether the cat is alive or dead?_

_But the answer to that is: the cat is both alive and dead. Without opening the closed box, we will never know whether or not the cat is truly dead or alive. As much as you theorize or estimate the likeliness of the cat's survival, you will never be 100% accurate in your guess without opening it. _

_My memories are similar. You will never know whether or not I retained my memories through each alternate timeline without experiencing it. But ask yourself this: Do you want to open the closed box? Or would you like to keep it closed for eternity?_

_You can choose to walk away from me or you can choose to become as involved as you want. But I hope you don't regret seeing the outcome of the opened box._

* * *

Jin slowly opened his eyes to the blurry, white ceiling above him and yawned. As he placed a hand on his forehead, his other hand grabbed clumsily to air until he felt his glasses. "What a shitty morning," he said out loud as he put on his glasses. He opened his curtains and it was dark outside. Fuck the morning, it's night time already as he looked at the clock blaring "9PM."

He stood up from the bed and stretched his arms out to wake him from his sleepy daze. "Takaya," he called out, but no one answered back. "Takaya?" Guess he went out to do something important.

Jin sat back down onto his bed and reached for his laptop which was already next to him when he was sleeping before. After he opened his laptop, he smirked to himself when he saw the amount of pawns sprawling to his "Revenge Request" website. He scrolled down his site to see the number of people requesting assassinations. Kill him, kill her, kill everyone. It's so entertaining to see how one site can bring the utmost evil traits in a human. Which is why Takaya is right—humans must be extinguished.

At times like these, he relinquished the feeling of becoming a sort of devil himself. To cleanse the evil with even more evil. But unlike most people in the world, his actions were meant to save this world of even more malfeasance. While some may call this unscrupulous, it was far from that; these other people are just being short-sighted—unable to see the world as how it is.

People can't even realize how immoral they are themselves. They live in a hypocritical, disillusioned state of mind, telling others what is proper and good, but they don't even know what's right from left, can they?

He skimmed through all the posts, but the name that kept re-occurring within today's postings was "Arisato Hamuko."

"I want to request the assassination of Arisato Hamuko!"

"dat stupid bitch Arisato Hamuko… who does she think she is always hanging out with Sanada-senpai!"

"If the world rid of Arisato Hamuko, I would die so happy lol"

"Arisato Hamuko! she's such a slutty whore, going after Sanada-senpai after already dating Junpei!11"

"I wonder if this site is true… can you get rid of Arisato Hamuko?"

Jealous women everywhere within human society. Jin rolled his eyes, but he'll take on these requests if it'll make these stupid people follow him even more. He'll make them realize that Strega will be their new guide to the salvation of Nyx. He adjusted his glasses with his finger, placing it more comfortably on his nose. Now time to investigate a little more on this "Arisato Hamuko" person.

Arisato Hamuko is a 2nd year at Gekkoukan High. She lives in the Iwatodai Dormitory. Red-brown hair, red eyes, and slim stature. Attends various clubs during the day. According to some information, she is seen going to the Paulownia Mall at night.

"Seems easy enough," he thought. Just an ordinary highschool girl who will serve as another sacrificial lamb for the guiding of his people.

With the clock blaring "10PM," he knew it was his cue to travel into the dark and stalk the unfortunate girl. But no matter, this girl is just being saved from the even harsher cruelty this world would offer her. He's just doing her a favor and ending her misery faster. He closed his laptop and packed it in his glistening, silver briefcase before he headed out.

As he walked out of his room, he saw a doll-like girl with long red hair sitting alone in the corner of the main room with her sketchbook in hand—the girl who survived the experiments just as he had, but even then, he barely had the means to understand her. Jin briefly said, "Going out." Chidori, barely giving him a glance, just nodded and continued drawing.

After exiting, he shut the door behind him and lifted his glasses with his index finger before heading out towards Paulownia Mall.

* * *

As Jin silently pursued his target, his face full of determination turned to one of unamusement. "Does this girl have no shame?" he thought out loud. This whole time he was stalking her, she had been doing activities obviously meant for a group of people, or at least with one other person. Singing karaoke, going into a haunted house, drinking coffee, and even suspiciously going into a back alley, only to space out for a good twenty minutes.

A lone girl with so many people who love and abhor her, and yet she's out here doing things unaccompanied. But why is that? Does she find comfort in solitude or is she truly branched off by society? A girl with people who she can call them "her friends" but actually not. An entity who seems unfazed by the world and its problems. Or maybe she's actually just a loser.

But ruling out the fact that she might be just a loser, it's people like these who tolerate the world as it is and try to fit into the community's medium. They prove no value; they neither try to accept or change.

Sitting casually on a bench with his laptop on his lap, he side-glanced his way to his right to see the auburn-haired girl exit out the club. As she headed out from Paulownia Mall, Jin placed his laptop inside the silver briefcase and stealthily followed after her.

Reaching Port Island Station, Jin made his way to the benches near the flowerbed where a few people were sitting. Carefully watching her, he planned to make his move once Midnight Hour struck. He checked his watch to confirm that it would come soon. Before the girl made her way up to the stairs, she walked towards the closed flower shop. She gazed at the flowers and touched the window with her fingertips.

"Sorry, gerberas aren't my favorite."

Raising an eyebrow, Jin questioned himself if he heard that right.

His watch clicked "00:00."

* * *

_Do you know about the Butterfly Effect? Oh, you know about it already? It's a shame, I really do like explaining things to you. But I'll explain it anyways! What's up with that scowl? I know you secretly like it when I talk to you. _

_Lorenz theorized that throughout a series of nonlinear timelines that whenever a change is made, no matter how big or small, it'll make a drastic anomaly depending on prior conditions. Like how a butterfly's flaps can create a hurricane, small actions such as buying grocery can lead to something huge like a fire._

_Because of this, many people believe that whenever a time travel is made and a different path is chosen, a timeline becomes branched off from the original timeline. And if time is reversed again and the person chooses another different path, a separate timeline becomes branched off from that preceding one, and so forth._

_If you think about it, we could be in an alternate timeline in the midst of all the other timelines around us. Who knows where the original timeline is at now._

_But what I don't understand is how we still keep our memories of the other timelines. Or if we even remember it all completely?_

* * *

"And so we meet again," the auburn-haired girl chuckled as she leaned against the dirty wall. Her face shined brightly under the moon in the dark alleyways of Port Island Station.

"Yes, we do," Jin casually said as he stood a few feet away from her.

It's been a couple of days since he's tried to assassinate her. He 'tsk'ed himself mentally for tracking down a person who was immune to the environment of the Midnight Hour. He thought to himself that he could have killed her right on the spot, but she moved a little too hastily away at the time for him to try anything. He always preferred a clean kill rather than a mess. But if he's going to get more followers, he might as well do it soon.

The girl looked sideways at him with beautiful ruby eyes. "Do you want to know why I like the moon so much?"

He narrowed his eyes. "I don't care."

"Wow, you're so charming! You sure do know how to please a lady!" She dropped her jaw in amusement and held a hand cutely against her cheek. "Oh please, why don't you kneel down and gently kiss my hand?" She grinned as she stretched out her arm towards him.

Every little action of hers pissed him off. Every little word she said made him want to strangle her. She wanted to kill her and get it done with, so he could go back and revel in his swarm of worshippers.

"No response?" Her grin dropped and she looked away. "So am I gonna get a reason for why you were following me?"

Jin smirked. "No reason. You're just interesting, I suppose." Of course that was a lie, but he had to make her drop her guard.

"Well, if you find me so interesting, then I guess you can stand hearing why I like the moon so much." She winked at him and smiled like a child.

He just rolled his eyes. "Sure, tell me."

She cleared her throat and looked lovingly at the dark sky. "The moon always had such a wonderful vibrance. When it turns into a full moon, the shape is such a perfect round. And I love it when the Earth is close enough to the moon that it turns huge enough to where it seems like you can just touch it."

This innocent and demure girl started to rub Jin the wrong way. The way she spoke about the moon sounded incredibly banal, and her reasons for liking the moon was purely for aesthetics. Right when he was going to interrupt her, she continued talking.

"But what I like the most about the moon is the change." She paused. "The change from white to green gives a certain anxiety and chill in the air. The environment distorts to colors of eerie green and pools of blood red." Jin watched her carefully as she widened her eyes.

"The inhumane ambience is what makes me feel the most excited." She lifted her arms towards the air. "The fact that I feel so powerful in such a diabolical landscape makes me feel almighty."

Jin only watched her.

"Did you know… I hate the feeling of being human?" She dropped her arms and looked at him.

"You can't escape from being human. That's what you are, and that's what you'll ever be." He looked directly at her, thinking that she was a simple girl spoiled with powers. "Don't get so cocky just because you don't turn into a coffin during the Midnight Hour."

She scoffed at this. "My, my. Who do you think is being the cocky one right now? You're exactly like me, aren't you?"

Jin's vein on his forehead grew bigger. He was nothing like her. He's unselfish, he's righteous, and he does what he needs to do to help reach salvation, despite death, for humankind. Her on the other hand, she's barbaric, she's vulgar, and she relishes on the demonic side of herself. She'll let humans be despite what they do. No, he's nothing like her.

Hamuko cleared her throat. "But yah, you're right. I'll never be more than just human." The girl walked closer to him. "But that's probably why I love the feeling of chaos. Because I'm human."

He crossed his arms across his chest. "Why are you telling me this?"

She pondered for a bit. "Because you had an air of mystery and you don't turn into a coffin in Midnight Hour, so I thought you and I were alike in some ways."

"You're wrong. We're different."

"Totally different?"

"Totally different."

She flipped her auburn hair. "What a shame. I thought you would be more human like me."

"I am human. I'm just not as demented as you are."

There was a pause from both of them.

She looked at him endearingly. "You're… interesting."

Jin closed his eyes and sighed. "Too bad I can't really say the same for you."

"Oh, I thought you said you found me interesting. You liar."

Before Jin realized she had quickly walked over to him, she grabbed the knife from his backpocket.

"Hey-!" He tried to grab her, but she quickly stepped away from him to a good distance.

"So you just stab people to death? That's sure uncreative." Hamuko twirled the knife with her hand. "I expected more from you."

"You stupid—" As he grabbed for his grenade from one of his pockets, the girl dashed forwards and hugged him tightly. "What the fuck-!"

"Well, now you can't use the grenade or else you'll blow yourself up too." She smiled as her grip around him tightened. "And there's really no point in killing me if it's gonna kill you too." After she said that, while still holding him in a restraint, she cut a slit with the knife at the back of Jin's arm that was holding the grenade.

He screamed in pain and was forced to drop the grenade onto the ground. Jin looked at her with burning frenzy. "You bitch! I'll fucking kill you!"

As he tried to struggle away from her, her eyes filled with frenzy and leaned closer to his body. After struggling and about to break from her grip, Jin's eyes widened when her lips clashed onto his. His body slackened from the kiss, his mind blank. Before he could realize, she quickly shoved him away and hastily sauntered off.

"Well, look at the time! It's almost midnight!" The auburn-haired girl threw the knife in the air and caught it. "I'd love to stay and kiss you more, but I have got to be heading back!"

"You dumb b—"

"Ta-ta! I'll keep this knife as a remembrance of our times together! Love you!" After she said that, she dashed out of the alleyway into the darkness.

Jin just sat there, frustrated and confused. He gritted his teeth angrily and balled his hands into fists, making his arm bleed even more profusely. He then slowly gained his ground, still fuming at the transgressions that happened. Looking at the alleyway where the girl ran through, he muttered.

"I will kill you, Arisato Hamuko."

* * *

_When I was a child, I thought I was the only conscious person living in the world. That everyone around me were beings shaped like me but systematic like robots. I always thought, "Ah, they're not actually alive. I'm the only one who has real emotions, a soul. Everyone around me just acts the way they do in response to me." I thought the world would continue to exist as long as I exist. That once I die, there will be no more world._

_I assumed that the path in front of me was the whole world, and the path behind me turned into an empty slate. Anything I couldn't see turned blank, and the only reason why the world existed was to fuel my sense of life and imagination._

_But if that's the case, why do I keep memories that I specifically don't remember doing? Or memories of you for that matter? _

* * *

"What's the matter, Jin?" She asked him mockingly with maniacal eyes, but laced with panic and distress. He was hovering over her, straddling her body as he pinned her wrists against the sides of her head.

"Are you afraid that I remember everything you did to me?" Hamuko stifled a laugh as she turned her head to the side. But within that laugh, he could tell she was afraid that he would kill her again.

"I already know you remember everything, so why would I be scared?" He held on tighter to her wrists, painfully crushing her bones.

Hamuko's face distorted in pain, eyebrows furrowed creating an unsightly wrinkle in the middle. Despite this, she was still smiling, but the amount of pain he was placing onto her body was even making her grin shaky.

"Are you going to kill me again, Jin?" She asked as if she was ready, but they were both aware the anticipation just made it worse.

"No," he nervously said. He didn't know how to make this situation any better, but he also didn't want to make it any worse.

How did it end up this far? Each and every timeline he's experienced, he became the reason why she would die, spinning threads of futility within his stream of alternate universes. What if this is what the universe intended him and even Hamuko to endure for the rest of their lives? What if there was no ray of hope within their existences? To experience eternal hardship, pain, and murder without the affection of human endearment such as love. Two entities who would forever be in turmoil despite how many things changed in the specific timelines.

What if the reason that the two of them are able to remember the memories from the other timelines was because they're the only true existences in the world? Everything else in this world is a being devoid of soul. An obstacle. A hindrance. A tool. The only ones who mattered were him and her.

"What do you think of your friends, Hamuko?"

"They're my beloved friends."

"In this timeline, have you dated anyone?"

"…" She paused for a moment. "I believe it's a …yes."

"You believe it's a yes?"

She took a deep breath and sighed. "It's hard to say because it's muddled within my other memories."

"Have you had sex with any of them in this timeline? Tell me the truth."

She grew silent.

"Tell me, Hamuko." He came dangerously close to her face and glared.

"Yes."

After hearing that, Jin's blood boiled within him and his usual calm composure broke. In every timeline, she tricked Jin into claiming that she loved him, only to be skewered with the actual truth that she never loved him at all. If she actually loved me, then why does she choose someone else in every alternate universe?

At that moment, Jin thought himself as just a naïve boy, unable to understand himself or her, the only other person that mattered in this world. Being with her gave him doubts about the morality of his actions; it made him blind, it made him dumb, and it made him confused. He couldn't understand what was right or wrong anymore, which frustrated him even more. His hands were trembling as they gripped her tiny wrists. Her straight face made him lose control; it made him feel small and petty.

Fueled with blinding rage, he ripped Hamuko's skirt upwards and forcefully slid down her panty halfway down her thighs. Shocked, she started struggling using the hand that was freed to try and push him away. But he easily overpowered her when he crept a hand tightly over her thin neck.

Gasping for breath, she shrieked loudly when he tore the thin fabric from her legs. "Jin, why-!"

He didn't know what he was doing anymore. Killing people, manipulating people, all his actions came to be one massive blur. All the walls what would be considered selfish and wrong tore down and mixed in with his resolve of salvation for Nyx. But he stopped thinking of salvation and Nyx awhile ago, but only desired for her.

Forcing her legs on top of his shoulders, he zipped down his pants and quickly forced his way inside of her. Moaning in pleasure, his other hand made its way up to her neck, clinging onto her even tighter. Her breath convulsed in short gasps, her fingers clawing at his hands to loosen the grip.

Her eyes teared up as her pale face grew red. "Why—" her voice was such an inaudible squeak that he couldn't exactly tell what she wanted to say without reading her lips.

"Because Hamuko," still clinging onto her neck tightly, "I've always wanted to do this with you, but in all of the timelines I've traveled, you never gave me your body." He gritted his teeth and looked at her straight dead in the eyes. "If you had truly loved me, you would have given your body to me and not to anyone else!"

Her eyes widened and her fingers stopped clawing at his arms. Her arms reached up towards his face, hands suddenly cupping the sides of his cheeks. But because he was still choking her, he couldn't hear her, but saw her mouth move, "But I did."

Jin stopped dead in his tracks and loosened his grip around her neck. "What did you say?"

She gasped heavily and coughed as she felt some air go through her. Hamuko looked up at him with eyes shining so indignantly bright, "We did make love in an alternate timeline. We loved each other… Do you not… remember?"

His heart and mind started racing faster and faster. Was there really a timeline that they made love in? A timeline that actually existed happiness for both of them? But if that was the case, then why would he have travelled away from that in the first place and why hasn't he remembered that timeline at all? His persona's ability controls the time; Jin would be the only one to remember everything that happened in all the alternate timelines. So why can't he remember the one timeline that he desperately sought for? So many questions were tearing throughout his mind, but he shook them all away.

There was only one explanation for this: She's lying again.

He reaffirmed his grip on her neck. "You're lying."

Gasping again, she mouthed, "I'm not lying."

"Shut up, you're lying." He stared at her face, her body fidgeting and her limbs twitching. Although she was gasping for breath to stay alive, in his mind, she kept repeating "I'm not lying," to him over and over again.

"shut up… Shut up… SHUT UP!" Pushing his full force down onto her neck, he saw her red face in agony struggling to breathe, unable to even gasp anymore. She closed her eyes in distress; the fingers on his arms started to weaken as her own arms collapsed next to her sides on the cold concrete floor.

The life was quickly drained out of her body as her complexion became paler and paler as each passing second went by. Her once burning body now only felt lukewarm to the touch.

Jin sat on the ground with his knees, staring at the palm of his hands. After what seemed like endless minutes, edging closer to the body, he straightened her body and neatly flipped her torn skirt downwards to cover her.

He slowly opened his briefcase and grabbed the evoker from inside. Breathing heavily, he brought the silver gun to the side of his head.

"Moros." Shards dazzled from the other side of his head as his persona loomed over both his own body and the now cold body. "Take me back in time." As soon as he said that, Moros' number wheel spun rapidly—a white, glow resonating from the persona onto and over Jin's body.

* * *

Author's Notes:

Okay, I'm sure many, if not all, of you are confused at what's happening. BUT, don't worry, I hope things will become clearer as I move on to the next chapters!

As for this story, I'm not taking any suggestions, simply because I already laid the plot out (I just need to write it down now, uugghhh).

Sorry for the depressing and creepy story, I felt like I needed a change of pace from the funny and happy, haha.

I'm currently working on the 3rd chapter of MGIAS [My Girlfriend is a Stripper!] so look forward to that as well!

Thank you to all the people who have read and commented to my writing; you guys are awesome! :D


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